Rebound Relationships When To Get Back In The Game

Rebound Relationships: When to Get Back in the Game? When a relationship ends, one of two things is typically happening. One, you are being spared something (such as a life with someone who is not well-suited to be your partner); or you are being prepared for something new (learning lessons that will prove invaluable to you in your next relationship). Unfortunately, though, no matter how good a break-up might be FOR you, they rarely FEEL good to you.

That’s okay. Not everything that’s good for us feels good. There is a period of natural grieving and heartache for both partners, even if you are the one who ended the relationship! If you move on too quickly with hopes of side-stepping the pain (commonly known as a “rebound relationship”), this grief will find you later, somehow, often when you least expect it. Sometimes a partner will grieve the relationship before ending it.

Which leaves the unsuspecting partner very hurt by her partner’s seeming “coldness” about the break-up. “Why doesn’t she feel sad?” “Why is she so cold?” “How come I’m the only one feeling anything here?” Typically this occurs when one partner does the work of grieiving the relationship BEFORE ending the relationship. Contrary to popular opinion, when it comes to dating, opposites do not attract.

Like attracts like. Sure, she may like to play football and you might like to shop – but I promise you this: you are both equally broken, and you are both equally healed. At least you start that way. I like to say, “You deserve every relationship you choose.” You can not attract a partner who is healthier than you. Ever. It defies logic. No one is fooling anyone when it comes to love… we get what we are. Like attracts like. If you find this notion intolerable, or unacceptable – it’s probably time to take a closer look at your relationship.

If you are certain that you are healthier than your partner, ask yourself this: “If I am so much healthier than she is, what am I doing here?” Sure, sometimes we attract partners that do not mirror our emotional health – and that’s why those relationships don’t last. It may just take a minute to figure it out. Your issues may not be the same, but they are disabling to the same degree. She may drink and yell too much, and to the same degree she is not taking care of herself, you are also not taking care of yourself by tolerating or enabling this.

The focus of your issues may be different, but the degree is always the same. Humans are like stock in the stock market. Sometimes our value is higher than others. When you are taking care of yourself, eating right, exercising, spiritually balanced, mentally stimulated, socially active, and feeling good – your stock values are at their peak.

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